Aha!

8 Oct

When Satan replaces God, the blindfold is discarded!”

This is a concept an elite few can accept or even grasp.

Popular lies have ever been the most potent enemies of our personal liberty. There is only one way to deal with them: Cut them out, to the very core, just as cancers. Exterminate them root and branch. Annihilate them, or they will us!

The Book of Satan: 2.15

I am mine own redeemer.” I have found my true identity, FINALLY! I go now to find God within myself. (Just when I thought all hope was lost…) With time, I will fully eradicate all lies of destructive delusion. It won’t be easy, but I am through with weakness. I have disgusted myself with my pathetic dependence on arbitrary ideas rooted in ignorance. My eyes have been opened. Darkness has become Light and Light Darkness. God is Satan, Satan is God and I am both. I’m never looking back.

Sorry, Jesus… I don’t need or want the teddy bear anymore. I want my fucking liberation. I’m taking my freedom.

It all makes so much more sense. Raised in lies that have cultivated me to resist myself – my true “EVIL” nature – my self-hatred has festered, rotting away my curiosity, ambition and will to live. I now know in my heart of hearts that this is the truth: I am a Satanist. This does not mean I want to sacrifice goats to a horned devil, as I have been deceived to believe. This does not mean I am “converting” religions. I have learned that you cannot “convert” to or “join” the Church of Satan. You are born into it, and had I not been lucky enough to be in the right place at the right time, around the right people, I may never have found the strength I lacked to continue my existence. For me, this is the tool I’ve been desperately needing to begin to love myself.

In the symbol of Satan I gleefully discover the power and self-awareness I have lacked. In blasphemy I find pleasure because I have always hated my enemies. I have been burdened by ignorant guilt, but it is now lifted. I see the world with new eyes that I am unafraid to pronounce “evil”.

Through careful research and self-analysis, I have realized that I have been searching for a mythical prize I was basing my entire life upon: “Love”, “Happiness”… different names, but still mere words, outdated concepts that consume our pathetic lives, obscuring the real Truth. This is something I never could have possibly seen on my own. I would never have dreamed that my very quest for Happiness was the cancer that was destroying me from the inside out!

I have had to hide and repress certain bits of truth articulated by LeVey and others, because I have been brainwashed and blinded into thinking this is “wrong”. I know now that there is no “wrong” or “right”: these are useless words invented for control, used by weak men who could not otherwise feel powerful in their own lives.

My previously unrealized Satanic Nature has been working against me in my interaction with others because I have not known what it was or how to use it. I am thrilled and elated to absorb this wonderful wisdom that has evaded me for so long. I have always felt its presence lurking playfully just beyond my grasp, I just needed a helping hand to find the way to help myself once and for all. I’ve been searching for God in sex and a terribly misguided, idealistic delusion of intimacy when it truly was inside myself the whole time.

I had heard this before in Eastern philosophy – which I also can identify with in some aspects – but I was not prepared to accept it nor was I hearing it from the right place.

NO FUCKING WONDER I HAVE BEEN REDUCED TO A SNIVELING, SELF-DESTRUCTIVE MORON. No wonder I’ve always felt so out of place. It’s because I have been! Not so much geographically, as I was assuming, but in my own fucking head. I really can blame this on my parents, and other figures of poisonous authority that have shaped my miserable life. But now that I have finally found a name for what I really am, I have what I have been needing to break the cycle of self-destruction and move on to bigger and better things. Not that I can necessarily take everything a man – or anyone else for that matter – says as “gospel truth”. Who can say who is right and who is wrong? What mere animal can possibly impose such authority on another?

I have always questioned everything. I have always been a rebel. I have always done things simply for the sake of pissing people off and wreaking havoc. I’ve been led to believe I was “bad” or “wrong” for doing this, frightened by fire and brimstone. In my new logic I see that I was merely indulging in my Satanic Nature. Why would I care if others are offended or think it’s “wrong” if it makes me happy and I’m not hurting anyone?

Yet I still have a soft spot for God. I can accept this, but I will put it away for awhile and maybe eventually forget it. I know it will be difficult for my corrupt mind to comprehend some concepts in this spiritual journey, but I am determined to stick with it. I will not let myself down this time. I have been desperately seeking a drastic change in my life. Now that I know that Satanism is not about bowing down before ANYONE, but rather the total opposite: the celebration of yourself in the purest, most basic of forms… I am more than prepared to give Satan a chance to brighten up my life.

I am mine own redeemer. I am mine own redeemer. I am mine own redeemer. I am mine own redeemer. I am mine own redeemer. I am mine own redeemer. I am mine own redeemer.

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2 Responses to “Aha!”

  1. Aleister Nacht October 8, 2011 at 7:33 pm #

    A truly wonderful post. I grew up being lambasted with the fake christian morals.

    I believe most Satanists go through a similar process as you. There is an inner struggle to resist the previous religious indoctrination and embrace the Satanic SELF……….that means acceptance of all the things that form a person, including the personal value system. It is not easy, especially when others so quickly judge you. I admire your steps and encourage you on your path.

    I have truly found happiness in Satanism and in an epic “watershed” moment, so will you.

    Good luck with your enlightenment.

    A~N

    • aveverignosis October 8, 2011 at 9:39 pm #

      Thank you very much! Growing up in a Mormon family in Alabama, forced into private Christian schools.. I’m so thankful I found Satanism, because if I hadn’t I may have ended myself. I feel this is the beginning of a life truly worth living, on the Left Hand Path.

      Your encouragement is much appreciated!

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